When you listen to a customer (or co-worker, spouse, significant other), your brain is constantly making hundreds of assumptions. Each word, inflection, and tone of voice is interpreted, but not always as the speaker intended. Research shows that 2/3rd of all employees feel management isn’t listening.*

We all think we know how to listen, yes? The fact is that very few people know how to truly listen. In our earnestness to serve, we get pulled out of a conversation by preparing for the answer while the other person is still talking. We wait for a pause and when the person takes a breath, we jump in to improve or remedy the situation.

Or, we worry about the question that we may be asked that we might not be able to answer intelligently. Will we know the answer? Will we be able to respond appropriately? What if I am asked a question I don’t know the answer to? What if I don’t understand the question? What if they find out that I’m new on the job/on the equipment/at this company? What if they get angry at me? What if I frustrate them? What if, what if, you fill in the blank. We are anywhere but listening to the other person.

Our intentions are good. We want to give the best response we can, hopefully the right answer. However, if we are not present to the conversation, the other person feels not heard, unimportant, ripped off, and the like. If there was no upset on their side to begin with, it now exists big time. Fact: if you are not listening to the customer, there is no way you can answer the question. The truth is you probably haven’t even heard it.
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Effective leaders are known for being excellent communicators. Here’s what to do.

1) Avoid “Not.” Negative talk encourages arguments, counter attacks, and attempts to solve your problems. It also creates a negative impression. For example, when you say, “I can’t,” you appear helpless and ineffective. Instead, talk about what you can do and what you want.

2) Deal with impossible requests by 1) acknowledging the request, 2) empathizing with the other person’s feelings, 3) saying, “I wish I could fix it.” and 4) suggesting a reasonable alternative.” For example, imagine that you work at a resort and it is raining. A guest walks up to you carrying a golf bag, slams it against your desk, and shouts, “This place stinks! I spent thousands of dollars coming here and it’s raining.”

You respond by saying, “You’re right it’s raining. And I know how upsetting it must feel to travel this far and be stuck inside. I wish I could make it stop. In the meantime, you may want to visit our indoor putting center. Our golf pro is offering instructions this afternoon.”

3) Deal with difficult requests by 1) affirming your willingness to help and 2) asking the other person to help you plan a solution.

For example, if your boss asks you to start another project, you could say, “I understand you want me to start a new project. And right now I’m working on another project. To help me set my priorities, I wonder which one you want me to finish first.”
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If you’ve already read Part 1 of “Battling with Customer Service: How to Win the War,” congratulations! You’re halfway to becoming a pro. Follow these last five steps and you’ll be on track to bending the minds of customer service representatives everywhere. Without further ado…

6. Don’t drink and dial.

It seems like a good idea at first; the mind says no, but the six-pack says yes. You’ve had a great relationship for years. Why throw it all away over a silly dispute? You decide to pick up that phone, one last time, and see if they realize what they’re missing. Has this logic ever worked? Here’s a hint: no. Calling customer service in an obviously altered state of mind will cause your pleas to fall on deaf, yet slightly amused, ears. If you want customer service to take a complaint or concern seriously, save the six-pack for when you call your ex.

7. Call during off-hours.

Yes, hold music is corporate America’s version of water torture. To keep your sanity intact, try calling during off-hours. What are off-hours, you ask? If Company X has 24×7 customer service, try calling after 10pm. If not, try calling Tuesday-Thursday between 10am-8pm or any time on Sunday.

8. Don’t call a “special number.”

The blog of a spurned employee, a news station, or a radio show might give you some kind of “secret” and “internal” number to Company X. They may claim it will eliminate hold time. Oftentimes, these “special numbers” are specifically for field technicians or an obscure department that cannot handle the concern. Call the main customer service number and pick the correct department. The towering inferno that is the Voice Response Unit may mistake your spoken request to “pay a bill in Iowa” for “cancelling all services immediately in Connecticut,” but simply stating “agent” to the VRU may get you to a real, live person. If “agent” does not work, try similar terms such as “operator,” “representative,” “customer service,” “parasite from the nether world,” or “spawn of Satan.”
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Customer service, how I loathe thee. Let me count the ways. The never-ending loop of obnoxious hold music. The pressure to buy new products and services. The poor-quality, outsourced call to a distant land.

A call to customer service can be an infuriating ending to a frustrating experience. You’re upset and looking for empathy, but all you encounter is disappointment. Could Company X have done something differently? Probably, but if you follow these tips when dealing with customer service, you’ll be in the driver’s seat for the next dispute.

1. Be prepared.

Seems basic, right? Unless you’ve called Company X several times, you’re probably not familiar with their required information. Have every tracking number, account number, itemized statement, and order number before you call. Customer service representatives are held responsible for torturous call-handling metrics designed by masochistic management. Length of call, resolution (if the customer calls back to the company within an allocated amount of time), and randomly monitored calls are measured stringently. Bottom line: they want to help you quickly and completely, lest a superior crack a whip.
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